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Joke of the Day

"I asked her if she had ever tried 69 I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Whats the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a bottle of glue? Anyone can tune a piano, but noone can piano a tuna!"

"Shake what your momma gave ya! *shakes old decorative wreath* (pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)"

"What's brown and sticky? Muhammed Ali opening a can of coke"

"How do fish get stoned... ...Seaweed."

"I experimented A LOT in college. (I was a chemistry major.)"

"Why did the vampire go crazy at Burger King? He saw all that catsup and wanted a transfusion."

"I ask myself, what city has the most feminists? Manhatin'"

"Who is the greatest painter of this century? Pigcasso!"

"A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double-entendre. So he *gives it to her.*"