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Joke of the Day
"I used to be addicted to soap But it's okay now, I am clean."
Next Joke
"My kitchen timer broke..good thing I wasn't counting on it."
"""Congrats Lobster Boy, u got the job"" [Lobster Boy goes in for the handshake but cuts his employer's hand clean off]"
"Eight dwarves are in a tub, feeling happy Happy got out now they're all fucking grumpy Edit: seven dwarves, sorry"
"When someone asks if I want to hold their baby, I casually mention that I'm constantly tempted to see how far I can throw things."
"Why is Waldo always wearing striped clothing? because he doesn't want to be spotted"
"Oldie.....Mexico will never win an Olympic medal in swimming or track and field..... ... because every Mexican who can run, jump or swim lives in the United States."
"""Beep."" Zebra walking past a self service checkout."
"Ten years ago, we had Steve Jobs, Johnny Cash & Bob Hope. Now we have no jobs, no cash, & no rope to hang myself with if I read this again."
"I think I missed the driver ed class on how inching forward every 5 seconds at a red light makes it turn green faster."