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Joke of the Day

"How does the Karate Kid pleasure himself? Wax off"

"Grandma's dementia has been really hard to deal with lately. And the worst of all is... ...She forgot about Dre."

"What did the moon say to the window? Fuck off"

"I didn't have a headache until you pulled your pants down."

"Sometimes when people text me ""K"", I like to text them ""L- omg you next!!"""

"After 2 divorces, I gave up on that 'dream girl' shit long ago. At this point, if she has no outstanding warrants, I'll talk to her..."

"What do motor scooters and fat women have in common? They're fun to ride until your friends find out."

"ALCOHOL. Because no good story ever began with, ""So, I was sitting there eating this salad..."""

"Music is best when it's louder than I can think."

"What do you get if you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? A person who stays up all night wondering if there is a dog."