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Joke of the Day

"""Your dad cant hold a candle to what my daddy can do."" ""Oh Ya, what does he do?"" ""Makes gun powder."""

"How much does funeral insurance cost Enough to put you in so much debt you need to dig your way out Alternatively: an arm and a leg"

"What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back! I don't know how big this thing gets."

"What did the pillar say when he forgot to wish his friend happy birthday? I'll column later."

"So Obama's leaving, and Trump is going into office I orange really is the new black."

"children are cool because they're the perfect height for me to fart directly into their mouths without having to really exert myself"

"What's the difference between Marcus Mariota and Floyd Mayweather? Best Duck Ever."

"The awkward moment when you remember something but you don't know if it was real or just a dream."

"Husbands. Can't live with 'em but have to take out the garbage and pay for everything without them."

"Some vampires went to see Dracula. They said ""Drac we want to open a zoo. Have you got any advice?"" ""Yes"" replied Dracula ""have lots of giraffes."""