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Joke of the Day

"children are cool because they're the perfect height for me to fart directly into their mouths without having to really exert myself"

"Why was Doughman the only hero to rise up and help? because he was kneaded."

"If you were a pizza... you'd be a pizza shit!"

"People used to be much smaller. WWII people were a foot shorter. Medieval people were basically hobbits. Jesus was the size of a cat."

"What do you call a bear in the Arctic? Starving."

"The Atom and the Cation The Atom says to the Cation, ""who's in charge around here?"" Cation: ""I am!"" Atom: ""Are you sure?"" Cation: ""I'm positive!"""

"It's all fun and games until you accidently grab the hand sanitizer instead of the lube."

"Butter must be southern Because it's usually inbred"

"Roses are... Roses are grey, Violets are grey, i'm colourblind, and Canadian, eh?"

"Where does an Afghan boy go during a drone strike? Everywhere."