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Joke of the Day

"Someone in South Korea accused North Korea of having assassination squads. That's a lie. On an unrelated note, I need that guy's address."

"My girlfriend thinks my jokes are stupid, but she still wants to have sex with me. So, who's stupid now?"

"I want so badly for crayons to taste like their color."

"What animals are poor dancers? Four-legged ones because they have two left feet."

"Tired of being fat and pasty? Put tanning bed lights in your refrigerator."

"What's the great thing about 25 year olds? There's 20 of them."

"Router-stiltskin I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child."

"What happened to the little Dutch boy after he put his finger in the dyke? ...she shattered his jaw!"

"I would rather text someone for a hundred hours than have to spend one second talking to them on the phone."

"What is the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One is a Goodyear. The other is a great year."