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Joke of the Day
"Did I tell you I'm dating a midget? I'm nuts over her."
Next Joke
"How much does a pirate pay for corn? A buccaneer!"
"I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken."
"The one huge advantage of being dumb ... you never overthink things."
"I am racist. fuck NASCAR."
"Why are Native American strippers the best? When they dance they make it rain."
"What did Professor X said when Cyclops whipped out his penis? ""Keep it in your Jeans"""
"You can find weed in almost every book go to page 420"
"If you stand in front of a mirror & repeat your top tweet 3X, your pretwitter self appears, smacks you & throws your phone in the toilet."
"All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger."