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Joke of the Day

"Her: What veggies are the kids having with dinner? Me: (Smacking the bottom of a ketchup bottle) Fresh Tomatoes..."

"50 SHADES OF... Theatre owners have been piping in citrus scent after each showing of 50 Shades of Grey. Because everyone knows citrus is best at eliminating fish odors"

"I'm always trying to make jokes at my work place... But in a graveyard, everyone is dead serious"

"My internet goes at 20mb per second... wonder how much faster it goes per first!"

"Libraries are a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn't be allowed to talk."

"Calling someone ""stupid"" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis."

"I had a colonoscopy today... ...it was a pain in the ass! EDIT : Deleted original post that had ""coloscopy"" instead of ""colonoscopy"""

"Company loyalty can often be explained by Stockholm syndrome."

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his food before it was cool."

"Guys: never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview... They will clearly see your nuts."