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Joke of the Day

"50 SHADES OF... Theatre owners have been piping in citrus scent after each showing of 50 Shades of Grey. Because everyone knows citrus is best at eliminating fish odors"

"My farts are so strong..... I can make bubbles in the shower!"

"We attract people who are reflections of ourselves. So beware of anyone who wants to be with you when you're an emotional wreck."

"Theodore Roosevelt had sage words for men needing dating advice. Speak softly and have a big dick."

"Mariah Carey That awesome performance. Update: thanks for helping me get to the front page of r/jokes"

"Cholo What did the cholo say when two houses fell on him? ""Get off me, homes!"" My brother heard this on Tosh."

"The worst thing about parallel parking is witnesses.."

"Have you ever looked at someone and knew the wheel was turning but the hamster was dead?!!!"

"What is it called when a duck kills another duck? Quack on quack crime."

"Diner: Waiter please close the window. Waiter: Why is there a draft? Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times."