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Joke of the Day

"""I'm so self-conscious"" ""I'm a very private person"" ""I'm the shyest person I know"" *posts 43 selfies a week* - girls on Instagram"

"What disease did the house have? Shingles."

"A fish swims into a brick wall... Damn."

"Have you heard about the Indian that set the track for Native American's to vote? He was the little Injun that could"

"What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine? When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around"

"If a firefighters business can go up in smoke, and a plumbers business can go down the drain,..... Can a hooker get laid off?"

"So this morning I bought a pair of shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been tripping all day."

"This coworker is in a really good mood this morning, so I hacked his Facebook account and wrote ""sexy"" on all of his wife's friends' pics."

"Life is like a box of chocolates, once you have kids it's gone."

"Reporter got asked about any survivors of a plane crash & said 'its up in the air'. Dude if it was up in the air we wouldn't be in this mess"