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Joke of the Day
"What do you call an Irishman with no arms and no legs on a pool table? Rick O'Shay"
Next Joke
"Can you imagine how awesome sprinkles would be if they tasted like anything?!"
"A gaggle of geese. A murder of crows. A nope of laundry."
"What has 4 legs in the morning, two at lunch, and three in the evening? A cannibal"
"Why doesn't Anne Coulter have any loose skin? She's afraid someone will make a lampshade out of it."
"Carly is a pirate. Because X marks the spot."
"PREGNANCY TEST! Girl: Dad, what's better? to pass or to fail? Dad: To pass obviously Girl: OH GOOD, YOU'LL BE PROUD OF ME! I PASSED MY PREGNANCY TEST!"
"The Riddler always struck me as the Batman villain most likely to have been a pickup artist."
"ME: *opens car door for date like a gentleman* DATE: *running and out of breath* PLEASE STOP THE CAR"
"Police last night raided the Home For Retired Thieves and Au Pairs.... ...they proceeded to search every crook and nanny!"