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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between cider and apple juice? My wife doesn't let me cum in apple juice :-("

"Dwayne Johnson's new television show on the food network Can you cook what The Rock is smelling?"

"A white officer pulls over a black man for speeding. The cop tells him to mind how fast he's going, lets him off with a warning, and tells him to have a good day."

"Duct Tape Won't Fix Stupid. But it will gag the sound."

"Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery's party? It was leave your keys at the door."

"""One mans trash is another mans treasure"" Is a good quote... But apparently its not the best way to tell your kid he's adopted."

"A cannibal ate an optimist once He couldn't quite keep him down."

"I tried to buy some camouflage pants the other day... But, I couldn't find any."

"I am just a boy, standing in front of a milkshake, wondering by what sorcery it beckoned me to this yard"

"""Seriously, is that what I look like?"" - robot watching a guy 'doing the robot'"