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Joke of the Day

"In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn't understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym"

"I do 8 sit-ups every mornin'. Might not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button. Merica."

"Is cakeday. Comment with best Latvian joke. Make laugh. Is good distract from malnourish."

"What did the robber with an errection say? This is a stick-up."

"What's another name for an parent? Someone who's stopped growing except around the waist."

"Why does having sex outside suck? NSFW Because of the fucking mosquitoes."

"Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they stink."

"Imagine meeting the girl of your dreams and then finding out that she eats spaghetti with a knife."

"A man goes to the zoo, and the only animal in the entire zoo is a dog... it was a shitzu"

"People are like trees: you can figure out their age by cutting into them & counting the rings. Right? I didn't do this for nothing, right?"