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Joke of the Day

"I do 8 sit-ups every mornin'. Might not sound like much, but there's only so many times you can hit the snooze button. Merica."

Next Joke
 
"Wow, what a day. I volunteered at a soup kitchen, caught up on my scrapbookin', went 2 baby shower, ran 9 miles, then told lies on twitter."
"I laughed at Yoda for hiding in a swamp Then again, he's the only Jedi to ever die from old age Maybe he knew what he was doing after all."
"What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? ""Nowledge."""
"Why did the zombie get a gym membership? Gaaaainsss"
"My date asked me to tell her a Star Trek joke.... ...and I said ""Who do you think I am, CleVar Burton?"""
"How do you get a girl from the Midwest to ""s"" your ""d""? Dip it in ranch."
"Whars long ha nuts on either sude and has an asshole around the corner The hallway in the mental hospital i just I just escaped"
"What did the homeless got for Christmas? Hypothermia."
"Ambien: Remember the time we picked a fight with Gary's garden gnome, chugged a jar of mayonnaise & passed out naked in Arby's parking lot?"