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Joke of the Day
"What do you call the boner of a necrophiliac? Mourning wood"
Next Joke
"What would you call Geralt of rivia if he had a sex change? The switcher"
"How do you make an idiot easily wait ? I tell you tomorrow."
"[commercial for Facebook] *man sits in tree, watching friends from high school through binoculars* ""Don't you wish there were a better way?"""
"My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head."
"Why couldn't Edward leave the Airport? Because he was Snowden..."
"*Works out on rowing machine *Breaks rowing machine *Doesn't know own strength *Buys Doritos to celebrate *Can't open bag"
"What's a dogs favorite TV show? Bones."
"*grammar police reads ransom note* ""Bring the money hear in too days, or she dead"" *grammar cop dies* ""Damn, he had 2 days until retirement"""
"Big shoutout to my neighbors, who left their back door open accidentally, when I needed a few things and didn't want to go to the store..."