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Joke of the Day

"[ISIS cuts off some dudes heads] Whoa thats messed up you better quit it! [ISIS breaks old rocks] OKAY WE HAVE TO STOP THEM NOW."

"How do you get Squirtle, Charmander and Pikachu onto a bus? You pokemon."

"One tub of crisco. One body pillow. One box of condoms. One cashier. One wink. One awkward moment."

"Why did the one-eyed pirate keep running aground? No depth perception."

"What type of dog suffers from being inbred? A hotdog"

"What do you call a bear without teeth? A gummi bear."

"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made with meat?"

"*Busts through Kool-aid mans wall* Kool-aid man: Not cool. What I do is fake. This is our home Me: I'm sorr... *A sippy cup starts crying*"

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"What did Snow White say when she came out of the photo booth? Some day my prints will come!"