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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"*Arrives at ticket stall with my girl* Me: Two tickets to the movie please. Attendant: For The Hobbit? Me: No, that's my girlfriend."

"*pops the hood* ""Looks like the timing nut is gone on yer muffler belt"" .. Umm r u sure you work here? *lifts eye brow, moustache falls off*"

"I read ""Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows"" in 4 hours yesterday. I know it's only 6 words, but I was still impressed with myself."

"My girlfriend has 206 bones in her body 207, 206, 207, 206, 207......"

"Why did Megan fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there?? Not Megan."

"Hey girl, are you a fan? Because you're obsessive and loud"

"Why did God create Adam before he created Eve? So no one would tell him how to make Adam."

"I've never run a marathon, but once I walked real fast across a parking lot because Krispy Kreme was about to close."

"What has nine arms and blows? Def Leppard"