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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? Well, for starters I would never pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"How do you think the unthinkable? Hit an itheberg."

"What do you call a lad that put on his glasses? Seymour."

"What is the worst joke in philosophy? One that kant be repeated."

"I stopped fighting my inner demons; We're totes BFFs now."

"I dig, you dig, we dig, he dig, she dig, they dig. Its not a beautiful poem, but its very deep."

"*I'm worried about tomorrow* Tomorrow: I'm fine, stop worrying."

"I masturbated in the shower... I just wanted to come clean. Came up with this earlier, I guess it could've been relevant in /r/showerthoughts"

"Did you hear about the farmer that fell into the field machine and lost half his body? He's all right now! :-)"

"If your watch is broken why can't you go fishing? Because you don't have the time."