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Joke of the Day

"Restaurant chain commercials should run the disclaimer ""Actual food might not tumble and splash in slow motion""."

"How come you never get into a fart contest with a girls? They have double barrels. Probably a repeat, but my brother in law hadn't heard it so I figured I would post it."

"I have a serious inflation fetish... So I moved to zimbabwe."

"What's the difference between me and Jimmy Kimmel? I can make it to the end of a Jimmy Kimmel joke without laughing."

"Why didn't the Aztec get their hair cut? They didn't like the barbershop Cortez."

"How do you tell when a woman is having an orgasm? Who cares?"

"MY PARENTS ARE OUT OF TOWN SO I CAN FINALLY WINK AT THE CAT AS MUCH AS I WANT"

"I'm going to keep using 'penis' as a verb until someone lets me penis them."

"Two Jewish businessmen were discussing insurance. ""You need fire insurance, burglary insurance and flood insurance."" ""The fire and theft and burglary I can understand,"" said the other,"

"When I'm texting, I start typing faster when i see you're typing too. Oh, IT'S ON!! #amazingrace"