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Joke of the Day

"Q: What do men and sperm have in common? A:They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being."

"What do you call a crocodile that can't have sex? A reptile dysfunction."

"Yeah I got a job at Coca Cola... It's sodapressing."

"What do you call someone who discriminates you for your oral hygiene? A dent*ist*."

"What do you call two gay Irishmen? Michael FitzPatrick and Patrick FitzMichael. Happy St. Patrick's Day!"

"If familiarity breeds contempt and absence makes the heart grow fonder, then by definition marriage is a terrible idea."

"Guy tip: If your girlfriend has a really annoying friend, don't tell her how bothersome she is or to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how attractive she is."

"[a girl favs my tweet] [goes to pharmacy] one condom please"

"A Canadian walks into a bar has a drink, pays his tab, and leaves."

"What type of humor did the heart attack survivor like? Offbeat."