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Joke of the Day
"[a girl favs my tweet] [goes to pharmacy] one condom please"
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"My mom texted me asking what ""DTF"" meant and I told her ""Dedicated To Family""...I seriously can't wait for her to use it."
"There are 10 types of people in the world... Those who know binary... Those who don't... And those who wonder why we don't use ternary instead."
"Which 3 words will make a mexican tremble in fear ? Round of 16"
"What are Mario's overalls made of Denim, Denim, Denim"
"3 things happened to me today 1. I woke up 2. I met a hot girl 3. I kissed a hot girl But it happened in this order, 1. I met a hot girl 2. I kissed a hot girl 3. I woke up"
"ANYTHING can be considered your job if you hate it enough."
"Is it possible to get steak poisoning? Yes, but it's really rare."
"My 4 year told me my tummy looks soft and squishy today, so I put her barbies on the highest shelf on the house."
"TIFU by sleeping with my boss I should be getting a promotion any day now."