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Joke of the Day

"What type of humor did the heart attack survivor like? Offbeat."

"What does a dancing piece of land in the middle of nowhere? Plot twisting!"

"Never treat a woman like an object. It hates that."

"SON: I'm moving out as soon as I turn 18 and you can't stop me. ME: [pumping fist] If you insist."

"IMPROV PERFORMER: I need a suggestion. PERSON (from the back) BE MORE LIKE YOUR BROTHER! IP: Okay, someone that's not my wife."

"What do you call a couple of Irish guys hiking in the woods? Trail micks."

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo bean? I've never had a garbanzo bean in my bed."

"I like my women like I like my coffee... Black and ground up in the freezer."

"I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'"

"Q: Why is a train like a stick of gum? A: One goes choo-choo; the other goes chew-chew."