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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the pirate porno? All hands on dick!"

"You put the shhh in bullshhhit."

"My father has the heart of a lion... And also a lifetime ban from the zoo."

"Romantic movies taught me that you always have to walk out after a big argument so that 6yrs later you can meet by chance and get married."

"I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn't have internet."

"What's cheaper than a wall? Landmines."

"Why did the personal trainer break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn't working out."

"Why were all the gays winning poker in the 40's? Because they had to keep a straight face"

"Maybe wishes would come true if instead of throwing a penny in a fountain you threw something in that wasn't completely useless."

"I wish someone would hold me and tell me that everything is gonna be okay and then just kinda turn into like $20,000 in cash."