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Joke of the Day

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came in fifth and won a toaster."

"What do you call a Targaryen girl who can outrun her brothers? A virgin."

"Two types of people in the world.... Ones who pee in the shower, and motherf**kin liars"

"You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about shit ....?"

"Donald Trump, Hillary Clinton and Jeb Bush jump of a bridge. They do a race who hits the ground first. Who wins? Society"

"Q: If two people had a race and one had sand in his shoe but the other did not, who would win? A: The one with sand in his shoe -- if it was quicksand."

"Nigerian people is the best in the world. One of them offered me 1 million dollar via email this morning in just exchange for $100."

"Did you hear about the janitor who lost his job at the sperm bank? [dirty] He was caught drinking on the job..."

"Do you have small pox? Because your face looks kind apache!"

"If Trump gets elected... ...it will be the first time in History that a billionaire moves into public housing vacated by a black family."