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Joke of the Day

"Black Ice Slipped on ice today. Didnt know it was black ice until my wallet was gone."

"I love my yoga pants. I have no idea what they have to do with yoga, but they're great for drinking, smoking and tweeting."

"I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard..."

"A photon checks into a hotel... ...and the bellhop asks ""can i help with your luggage?"" The photon replies ""I don't have any. I'm traveling light."""

"WHY ARE THEY STILL PLAYING CHRISTMAS COMMERCIALS? Me watching recorded TV shows"

"If I ever got into the plastic surgery business I would call my company ""Breast Buy""."

"I won't be getting any sex tonight but I beat level 15 on Bejeweled so its pretty much just as good."

"Why did the cop shoot the insomniac? He was resisting a rest"

"WELL IF BEING DISCHARGED FROM THE HOSPITAL ISNT THE BEST TIME TO ASK ABOUT A THREESOME THEN IM FRESH OUT OF IDEAS"

"Subway Did you use to work at subway, because you just gave me a foot-long."