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Joke of the Day

"[maid of honor speech] Never thought this day would come! Remember when you came home early & he was wearing your bra & panties [mom faints]"

"Success is like Pregnancy Everyone congratulates you, but no one knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it."

"I almost killed my whole family last night, but eventually chose not to let my wife drive."

"So I confronted and cursed my son out for being in a relationship with a man..... He told me his partner was a Tranny and I felt like such an idiot. Sorry Ma'am. Your masculine face had me off."

"What is Niglish? You're an asshole. Just go away."

"My trainer said with enough sacrificing I could get a 6-pack. He's full of shit & I have 4 dead goats & 17 decapitated chickens to prove it."

"What do you call a basketball that rolls off court and deflates? Out of bounce."

"Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune? A: The bow is moving."

"Whats green and flys through the air? Super Pickle"

"What's the best way to get a foreign dog to behave? A treaty."