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Joke of the Day

"[maid of honor speech] Never thought this day would come! Remember when you came home early & he was wearing your bra & panties [mom faints]"

"Why are there 2 dragon smileys on Whatsapp? ""He winked at me, I should send him a dragon head."" ""No babe, this calls for a full dragon."""

"Used to be that multiple communication devices meant you're a drug dealer, now I'm not sure which of these toddlers to buy from at the park."

"Caught my son running a Google search for ""adult entertainment"". I was mortified. We are strictly a Bing family."

"""Gotta wake up early"" *sets alarm for 5am* *wakes up at 4:55am to cancel alarm* *goes back to sleep*"

"I just want a man who can lick the crumbs from the bottom of a Pringles tube."

"What do you say to a hitchhiking frog ? Hop in !"

"I gave self deprecating humor a go once... ...I was terrible at it."

"Why are refugees bad at math? They refuse to integrate."

"Whats your name? Whats the color of the sky?... Me: whats your name? You:(insert name) Me:whats the color of the sky? You:blue Me:whats my name? Now put it all together."