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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Kony is raising up another army? It's a baby only army. The infant-ry."

"Q. What did the Syrians use to light their homes before candles? A. Electricity."

"Why can't Java programmers see well? Because of the eclipse"

"What do you call a hooker laying down? Whorizontal. Thanks, I'll show myself out."

"You've got to be careful once you start cooking with Crisco. It's a slippery slope."

"cant take this long distance relationship anymore. Fridge.... you are coming to my room"

"Who is the Easter Bunny's favourite movie actor? Rabbit De Niro!"

"Why doesn't smokey the bear have a wife? Anytime she gets hot, he beats her with a shovel."

"A cop was outside my house talking to some people and my first thought was ""yesss"" because I'm nosey."

"""Grandpa, are you sure you want to order crazy beef with ghost chilis?"" ""It'll Szechuan fire."""