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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear Kony is raising up another army? It's a baby only army. The infant-ry."

"Garbage men have Hefty contracts."

"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snow plow? Give her a shovel!"

"How do you know when... ... a blonde has been using the computer? There's white-out on the screen. How do you know when a brunette used the computer after a blonde? There's writing on the white-out."

"Went to take out money from the ATM and hit Espanol by accident.It replied, 'Nice try, you don't get paid until all the onions are chopped'."

"""Who's sorry now?"" ~ First question on Canadian citizenship exam"

"Why don't they just use a 3 year old with a drum set as an enhanced interrogation technique?"

"Has your mom ever caught you masturbating in the closet? Great hiding spot, isn't it?"

"At the school for the hearing impaired... ...no one can hear you scream!"

"What's worse than having your doctor tell you that you have VD? Having your dentist tell you."