92846

Joke of the Day

"There's a new drinking game... You draw a random card from a deck & if it's black you take a shot.... We call it ""Ferguson"""

"DEATH: You're grounded! Get back here! DEATH'S DAUGHTER: Whatever. *gets on motorcycle, zooms across tightrope* DEATH: HOW DARE YOU DEFY ME!"

"Thigh gap? Give me some corduroy pants and I'll start a fire."

"What do you call a fake noodle? An ImPASTA!"

"If a person with down's gets high Do they become a normal person?"

"mark, my words. *mark brings me a dictionary* thanks mark"

"For the last time I said CAULK, I need black CAULK. This isn't funny, what isle is it in"

"What's green and smells like pork? Kermits finger"

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired"

"Wife: We need to go to the store. We're out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We're out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*"