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Joke of the Day

"I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker, But when i got home all the signs were there."

"Friends from school are like hot dogs You have them because they're there, not because you love them"

"What do you call a singing bottle of mustard? Celine Dijon"

"Dear Math, Grow up and solve your own problems."

"""Tim's coming tonight"" ""Tim with hooves for feet or Tim that likes to bang coconut halves together?"" [in the distance] clip-clop clip-clop"

"Him: Should you be eating that much chocolate? Me: Should you be using that much oxygen?"

"Do you think, when they were looking for that Carmen girl, that they ever checked San Diego? Just a thought."

"Is your refrigerator running? Cause I might vote for it."

"What do fishermen say on Halloween? ""Trick-or-trout!"""

"Hi, what can I get for 25 cents? You can get the fuck out."