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Joke of the Day

"Ten words, two commas, a punctuation mark and a full stop all appeared in court yesterday. They're due to be sentenced next week."

"I tried to take a photo of a huge bug in my bathroom, but when I put a coin next to it for scale IT TOOK THE COIN AND PUT IT IN ITS WALLET."

"How many Arabs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 1.. 2.. 3.. BOOM"

"Dad I spotted a Dalmatian! No need to it already has its own spots!"

"My oldest son come up to me today and said, I'm feeling suicidal, dad.' Hang in there, son' I said pointing at the spare room."

"Why do Jewish people have big noses? Air is free...."

"What do toys and boobs have in common? They're both made for kids, but dad ends up playing with them."

"What should you do if you're cold? Stand in a corner. They're usually 90 degrees."

"Pinion nut math What do you get when you have one pinion nut in one hand, and two pinion nuts in another? A difference of a pinion!"

"Why was the horizontal plane judged in Germany? It was x-axis"