54999

Joke of the Day

"Twitter announced today that they've lost 134 million dollars this year. I don't know if they want us to look for it or what the deal is."

"What sport is played in Spanish churches? La Cross"

"i like when people call cheap liquor ""rot gut"", implying that more expensive liquors wont also ravage their guts with harsh chemical solvent"

"I used to play hard to get until I realized that I was hard to want"

"In the Phoenix airport & I just heard a guys laptop say ""you've got mail"". Pretty sure I've landed in 1998."

"What's the difference between a fridge and a gay man? A fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!"

"Breaking Bad is a horrible influence, making terrible things seem cool. Next thing you know, kids will want to start using flip phones."

"""Hey were you born on a highway?"" Kevin asked. Kevin continued, ""Because that's where accidents happen."""

"My urge to sing ""The Lion Sleeps Tonight"" is just a whim away a whim away, a whim away, a whim away"