161265

Joke of the Day

"Breaking Bad is a horrible influence, making terrible things seem cool. Next thing you know, kids will want to start using flip phones."

"It's claimed Macaulay Culkin's health problems are linked to a difficult childhood. No sh1t. His parents forgot to take him on holiday 4 times"

"""If ya wanna go and take a ride with me / wear your seatbelt"" - Nervous Nelly"

"How do you weigh a whale? On Whale Weigh Scales."

"What do you call a family of redheads? Gingerbread. Edit: This is more of an out-loud joke. So, maybe it'll help if it read: ""Ginger-bred"" instead."

"What's the difference between an owl and a bungee cord? My ass"

"A man using Apple Maps walks into a bar or maybe a hotel. Or possibly a church"

"hi, grandma? can u come pick me up from my rap battle? it's over. no, i lost. he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about it"

"Tits man or arse man? ""Tits man or arse man?"" I was asked. I really should have got in there earlier when they were giving out super hero names."

"Buddy 1:Hey ever heard of the movie constipation? Buddy 2:No i have not. Buddy 1: that's because it hasn't come out yet."