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Joke of the Day
"Why do pirates like TIG welding so much? Because they have a good supply of ARRgon."
Next Joke
"Being bummed that you finished your sandwich only to remember that you haven't even taken a bite of it yet must be what Heaven is."
"""Can I see your ID?"" Sure, it's... *lowers sunglasses* *raises them* *lowers them again* ""What are you doing?"" I don't know."
"[Home Depot] ""Hi, my wife asked me to pick up some small finishing nails"" Clerk: Oh, with a little head? ""Nah, just verbally"""
"I don't know what I drank last night, but the vacuum is stuck on top of the house."
"Why did the Addams have the late man arrested? He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday."
"How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris."
"Request - Lawyer Jokes"
"Whats a sugar free drink's favorite abbreviation? 0mg"
"My friend told me I don't understand irony. Which is ironic, because we were in a dry cleaner at the time."