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Joke of the Day

"[Home Depot] ""Hi, my wife asked me to pick up some small finishing nails"" Clerk: Oh, with a little head? ""Nah, just verbally"""

"If you love something let it go, if it comes back with a toddlers arm, it was probably a Pit Bull."

"I have a new co-worker, who only has seven toes. I instantly hated him. Turns out I'm lack toes intolerant."

"Why was the tree stretching? So it could be timber!"

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon... Michael Jackson fucks little boys"

"I just changed a light bulb with a beer in my hand if anyone needs a man for something."

"Two guys walk down the street And one falls through the window"

"A quick joke... Yesterday I went drinking with the Russians. I almost died. Today I went drinking with some Serbians. I wish I had died yesterday... :D"

"so that's the reason Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher? There was no chemistry."

"How do heavy metal bands surf the web? On the Din-ternet."