169629

Joke of the Day

"Being bummed that you finished your sandwich only to remember that you haven't even taken a bite of it yet must be what Heaven is."

"What is easier to load your van with bowling balls or screaming baby's? Baby's because you can use a pitchfork"

"After a night out with friends a man comes stumbling home late He's greeted by his wife looking stern with her arms crossed. She exclaims ""Drunk again!"" He replies ""Me too!"""

"You probably know the last word of this sentence"

"I got kicked out of the hardware store today... It's my dad's fault. He told me to buy a black and deck her."

"It's a serious Lego project when the 1st thing my 5yo does is take off his shirt and gets me a beer from the fridge."

"Might buy a junkyard just to grow my own junk food."

"Why did I spill root beer on a DNS server? Just because ICANN."

"If you're ever wondering what I'm thinking, there's about a 96% chance I'm thinking about what & when I'm going to eat next."

"A joke from a substitute German teacher (who was later fired) What's the difference between a refrigerator and a gay guy? -Refrigerator doesn't fart when you take the meat out of it."