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Joke of the Day

"If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & you got your dogs from the shelter.... How do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?"

"So I'm ordering a coffee... I tell the barista, ""French Roast, two sugars, no cream."" The barista responds, ""I'm sorry sir we're all out of cream, would you like your coffee without any milk instead?"""

"I lost my mood ring. I don't know how I feel about that."

"I hired a nanny to watch my kids. Little did she know they were just two sacks of potatoes. When I got home I accused her of witchcraft."

"God invented co-workers to remind us that dying alone wouldn't be such a bad thing."

"As the news breaks of the passing of Michele Ferrero... I can't help but shed a chocolatier."

"My gf broke up with me. She thinks that I am childish... So, I calmed down, took a deep breath, went to her house, rang the doorbell and ran away."

"Improve your memory by doing unforgettable things."

"Yo momma so white... ...she thinks mayonaise is a spice. ...when she goes to vote, her name is still on the list. ...when she goes to jail, she gets parole."

"A blind man walks into a bar ow."