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Joke of the Day

"""This is the best acid ever. I totally should write some children's books now."" ~ Dr. Seuss"

"A pirate is sitting at a bar... In walks in a civil rights activist, a communist, and a dog. The pirate says, ""Well, today's my lucky day! X, Marx, and the Spot!"""

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? They don't. They just arrest the entire room for being dark."

"""So kids, I was married to your mom & I met this girl on Twitter, we started DMing and one thing led to another"" -How I Met Your Stepmother"

"I saw a spider in my bedroom so I did what any man would do... I got in an argument with my wife so I could sleep on the couch."

"Just told the Starbucks at the airport that my name was Ayatollah Bombface. Lol let's see wha"

"How many super saiyans does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, but it'll take 10 episodes."

"""Nothing rhymes with orange"" No it doesn't."

"Cap: good morning Avengers let's begin Iron Man: wait spider-man is missing Open Mouth Man: weird he was here when i went to sleep last nite"

"When life gets hard you have to grasp it. When it comes you have to take it on the chin."