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Joke of the Day

"Having a mustache is a great way to stop people from drawing a mustache on you in permanent marker while you sleep."

"How do you get a Jewish girls number? Roll up her sleeve."

"How many Jon Snows does it take to change a light bulb? It wouldn't matter. Jon Snow knows nothing."

"What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine? Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one."

"Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!"

"A dad asks 4-year-old son: ""How'd you sleep last night?"" Son says: ""umm... With my eyes closed?"" Edit: This actually happened btw. Probably funnier irl."

"Senate: Red House: Red Supreme Court: Red President: Orange"

"I heard the Sandy Hook kids wanted books But instead they got magazines."

"Why does coffee take so long to make in a purcolator? Because it's not called a purconow."

"Do robots have sisters ? No just transistors !"