54854

Joke of the Day

"To all of you who tweet constantly about drinking wine... Somebody has to say it. GRAPE JOKES AREN'T FUNNY."

"Men should never wear a Saran Wrap skirt to a job interview... They'll clearly see yer nuts"

"I can't believe other countries are allowed to celebrate the New Year before America. Some superpower we turned out to be."

"My version of flirting is looking at someone I find attractive multiple times and hoping they're more brave than I am."

"Some say I'm an apathetic person... But really, I just don't care."

"What's the difference between a swimmer and a gay? The swimmer smells like chlorine all over his body, while the gay only smells like chlorine on one part"

"i wonder wat time is *looks at wrist only to realize i am not wearig a watch* ah yes, i had forgoten that time is but a invisible everything"

"Knock knock Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget..."

"Sure the Michael Jordan underpants are good, but a lot of it is Scotty Pippen. He defends the balls."

"""I like to get off on the right foot."" ""Wow. That's a VERY specific fetish."""