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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a swimmer and a gay? The swimmer smells like chlorine all over his body, while the gay only smells like chlorine on one part"

"Figurative digits When is a 2 literally a 6? When it has metaphor."

"What are you if you hide eggs at nice places eggspert."

"[1st date] me: do you want kids? her: Yes me: GREAT [pulls 7 babies out from under table] HERE'S MINE HAVE FUN GOTTA GO"

"I am fairly well educated, but not 'knows every nuance of the English language' educated. I also have no idea what 'nuance' means."

"People doubt me when I mention how accepting Canada is towards the LGBT community. But it's Trudeau."

"Research shows that masturbation is one of the main causes of acne. Also, acne is the main cause of masturbation."

"Two Irish men walk into a bar... You would have thought at least one of them would have seen it."

"I knew she was about to say something intelligent because she began with, ""You once told me..."""

"A man buys some chocolate pudding from a sweets shop, and finds it's turned a sickly green color. He says to the manager, ""this is off pudding."""