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Joke of the Day

"When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!"

"My Wife Saw Me Licking A Yogurt Lid And Said ""Why Don't You Lick Me Like That?"" ""Because Yogurt Tastes Better"" The Divorce Is Next Tuesday"

"What do you get when you cross Hitler with a black woman? Aw sieg heil no!"

"My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card He's a man after my own heart."

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his sister in the chin..."

"I feel bad for people named John Smith. They probably didn't get the gmail account they wanted."

"My friend Jerry was going to be a pilot... but that career never took off."

"Me: That tree is impeckable ""Don't you mean impeccable?"" *cut to woodpecker with a broken beak* Me: No. Also how did you pick up on that?"

"Sorry about all the Mario references. I didn't mean to one-up you. I'll pipe down."

"Light a man a fire and he'll be warm for the day... Light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."