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Joke of the Day

"I am not fat I'm just making a very successful recovery from anorexia."

"What do you do after you licked the softest and sweetest puss in the world? You put it back in the crib."

"I guess Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift couldn't keep their relationship... Loki."

"What do you call a two dentists that live on opposite sides of the world? Molar opposites."

"The phone rings, and Dad asks: What does the caller ID say? Mom: It's a private caller. Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher."

"Why is E the only good letter? Because every other letter is not E!"

"Q: If everyone in America started driving pink cadillacs, what would you have? A: A pink car nation."

"What do you call a southern girl who runs faster than her brothers A virgin"

"Using a public restroom always reminds me how much better I am at flushing a toilet than a lot of other people."

"I call bullshit on dogs being mans best friend. That little m'effer didn't lift a paw when I moved. Not him or all his little friends"