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Joke of the Day

"So, I fell and broke my Matchbox Twenty CD . . . Tomorrow, I have an appointment with the RobThomatrist."

"When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer"

"when people post the punchline in the title You know what I hate?"

"No ageism? A baby seated in a tall wooden throne at this cafe just shattered a vase of flowers unprompted & was then told how handsome he is"

"""No child of mine is going out in a skirt that short."" ""Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"" ""Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."""

"If money can't buy happiness, explain ice cream. You can't."

"Terrible advice for a suicide survival hotline: If at first you don't succeed..."

"If you are getting a prostate exam... You're getting ANALysed!!!"

"What is loud and sounds like ""apple""? (scream) APPLE!!!"

"<--Goes to gym 3 times a week... Cannot separate two shopping carts stuck together at grocery store."