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Joke of the Day

"""No child of mine is going out in a skirt that short."" ""Dad, I'm sixteen. I'll wear what I want!"" ""Yeah, but son, your nuts are showing."""

"another candidate got the job i applyed for at Senate Office whomever you are, i hope your happy with that analist position you stole from me."

"What did the Cannibal get for dinner after offending his wife? The cold shoulder."

"What was Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination? HAND EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYE."

"[laser tag] Instructor: Dude, you're not gonna run out of ammo Me [strapping bayonet to the end of gun]: let's just agree to disagree"

"I see your IQ test came back negative"

"Why were there only 1,000 Mexicans at the Alamo? they only had 2 trucks"

"Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris."

"A club sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""I'm sorry, we don'tserve food here."""

"A guy calls the hospital. He says, ""You gotta send help! My wife's going into labor!"" The nurse says, ""Calm down. Is this her first child?"" He says, ""No! This is her husband!"""