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Joke of the Day

"No ageism? A baby seated in a tall wooden throne at this cafe just shattered a vase of flowers unprompted & was then told how handsome he is"

"Never trust somebody with a degree in child psychology to cut your kid's hair. They're therapists who'll groom your children."

"Can I get an amen? AMEN! Can I get a b-men? BMEN! Can I get a c-men? CME--*the whole church laughs*"

"You know Santa came when.. There's more milk in the glass than when you left it."

"Is it safe to visit the forests of Germany? I heard there could be a baum."

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? (NSFW) You can keep the tip..."

"Another Twilight movie?God I hope Abraham Lincoln shows up and slays every last one of them."

"How do you stop your children from smoking? Slow down and use some lubricant."

"Why did the elephant paint his balls red? To hide in a cherry tree.... What makes the loudest noise in the jungle? A monkey picking cherries."

"Wrestling is so stupid..... .....Men with no pants fighting for a belt"