54513

Joke of the Day

"My dad happens to be an umpire at a restaurant. So whenever somebody order pancakes, he immediately screams ""Batter up!"""

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? She worked it out with a pencil."

"What's 2 + Blink 182 46"

"I like my women how I like my haircut... high and tight."

"All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger."

"I never thought I'd buy into Feng Shui. But oh how the tables have turned."

"Why did the horny furry get arrested? Because he was a sexual predator."

"Dora could get to her destination in half the time if Swiper were in prison where he belongs."

"The batteries on my camcorder died halfway through my wife's wedding speech. I'm never going to hear the end of it."

"I've been friends with my recliner the longest. We go way back."