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Joke of the Day

"All these people training for marathons and I'm over here, on my couch, trying to lasso the remote with my phone charger."

"Why do black people only have nightmares? Because we killed the one who had a dream. Happy MLK day"

"What do you call a Sith lord who refuses to fight? A sithy."

"What do you call a retarded kid with no arms and one leg. Names."

"Peter Pan is my favorite story about how running away from all your problems will allow you to remain youthful and to possibly fly someday"

"Why did the Gorilla fail English? He had little Ape-titude!"

"Why did hitlers aircraft preform so badly after the invasion of russia? because they were stalin'"

"So Trump says he picked a bunch of great people to run the government... But honestly, I've seen better cabinets at IKEA."

"What's the difference between woman's breasts and a box of matches? The matches are made for adults, but kids constantly grab'em and play with them. The situation is quite opposite with breasts."

"TIL Thesaurus is not a dinosaur"