180804
Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? She worked it out with a pencil."
Next Joke
"When a man falls off a boat, you say, ""Man overboard!"" What do you say when a woman falls off a boat? ""Full speed ahead!"""
"Baby on board* Oh really? Thanks for letting me know, I was about to ram into your car, but now I won't."
"[arguing with friend about chemistry] *cop walks up* do we have a problem here? Me: No. We will find a solution once you argon, officer."
"Have been woken up with the hangover from hell by the sound of my neighbour's lawn mower. He'll just have to mow around me, I'm not moving."
"I'm donating my body to science. I'm getting sick of it taking up space in the freezer."
"Told my black co-worker that I'm avoiding Africans at the airport this weekend. His response: ""I'm avoiding them everywhere!"""
"Why are you on /r/Jokes? What arrr ya buncha pirates or sumthin? *tssssssss*"
"Keen silence from a dinner guest as she looks across the living room and realizes I made her bridesmaid dress into a dog bed."
"I'm officially starting my campaign next election And my slogan will be ""Hindsight 2020"""