54315

Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine just got fired from his job as a butcher. Apparently he was offal."

"When a woman asks for some time, and some space... ... she's trying to calculate speed"

"Why can you RAN in a campsite, but never RUN in a campsite? Because it's always past-tents."

"It's my mom's personal mission in life to save me 20% on all my purchases by clipping out and giving me every coupon known to mankind."

"I would've been terrible in 50 Shades because the second a guy said ""I don't do romance"" I would laugh and be like NOBODY SAYS THAT BYE"

"Why are most reactionists black? Because stealing is the only thing they can do."

"I tried to buy a Christmas tree to put in my shed. I couldn't find one anywhere. They were all non - shed."

"That whole Ray Rice elevator incident... took him to the lowest level."

"Whoever invented popcorn deserves the Medal of Honor for not panicking after the first 45 seconds."

"""My dad was a huge feminist..."" ""What about your mom?"" ""No, no. Dad wouldn't allow that."""