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Joke of the Day

"What did the popular astrophysicist's father say to him after his cleat came undone at soccer practice? ""Kneel in the grass and tie, son."""

"What did the doctor say to the man who couldn't pee? Urine trouble!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Algy ! Algy who ! Algy-bra !"

"The worst thing about being deaf is... when I masturbate, I can't hear anybody come in my room. *Not even myself.*"

"I think Santa is a pimp all he talks about are Hos."

"Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? He had no *body* to go with"

"What is the Difference Between a Pretentious Asshole, and a Brilliant Artist? About 6 feet."

"Hate when the cop is like, ""Sir, have you been petting kittens?"" and I say, ""I petted a few..."" as I open the car door and kittens spill out"

"As a person with alzheimers, all my punchlines are..."

"I hate when people say Hitler did nothing wrong afterall he did commit suicide..."