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Joke of the Day

"[Sea fishing] Me: This is fun. [Deep sea fishing] Me: Many men go fishing all their lives without knowing that it's not fish they're after."

"I like to stop at the UPS store late at night and leave little notes on their door letting them know I stopped by but they weren't open."

"What you call a Dildo with six heads? Hail Hydra!"

"Today we honor St. Patrick, the patron saint of puking and peeing."

"You can say what you want about pedophiles ...but at least they drive slowly around schools and playgrounds."

"Did you hear the one about Stevie Wonder? Neither did he"

"Have you heard the joke about the jump rope? You can skip it."

"NARRATOR: Here we see the gentle reindeer gamboling in the woods... DASHER: [pushing stack of Xmas cookies] Raise NARRATOR: I SAID GAMBOLING"

"Penn State We all know that older woman who go after younger guys are called cougars. Well older men who go after young boys are called Nittany Lions."

"If there isn't an open bar at my funeral then count me out, I'm not going!"